Piper- At least tell me you've managed to get Prue something other than your traditional birthday gift.
Phoebe-What's my traditional gift?
Piper-A card, three days late.

Piper-I panic, I put my hands up, and bad things tend to freeze.
Mark- For how long?
Piper- Not very-let's go.

Piper- I've never seen anyone die before
Prue- Jeremy.
Phoebe- Javna
Piper- I mean humans.

Piper-Leave it to me to fall for a dead guy.
Phoebe-It's an improvement, at least he isn't a warlock.

Prue to Phoebe-Oh my God you are pregnant. That is why you came back from New York, isn't it?

Phoebe-Look, you don't know me. Hell, I barely know me...uh...ok.

Piper-You'll never greet your husband at the door with 'Hun, I think I froze the kids again'.
Prue-No, I just accidentally moved them to another zip code.
Phoebe-But I will see them, find them, and bring them home safely.

Phoebe- Beware of the Rath of Piper

Phoebe-Piper, we both know I only like Leo because you do.

Phoebe- Piper, what do you really think of your boss?
Piper- I think he is a self-centered jerk, who must have a very small penis.

Phoebe- Am I the only one in this family who has inhertited the take a chance gene?
Piper- Probably, because if I remember my biology correctly, it was connected to the I can't mind my own business gene!

Prue- We always knew our powers would grow
Phoebe- Yes, but somehow I thought I was gonna get to fly.

Melinda- Do not rip the dress to fit me.
Phoebe-No, I'm not ripping the dress. It's called a zipper.

Melinda- What sheep has wool so soft?
Phoebe- A synthetic one.

Melinda-How do you keep your legs warm?
Prue- We drink coffee.

Phoebe- Froze him...quick! have your way with him!

Phoebe-If you ran an employment agency wouldn't you want me?
Prue-Maybe, but I would definetely want my suit back.
Phoebe-No, this is part of your old wordrobe. I'm just recycling.
Prue-Well, the enviroment thanks you...
Phoebe- But take it off. I know. I know!

Piper-Don't say that, the minute someone says that everything goes south.
Phoebe-Unless you freeze him.

Phoebe-Prue was right, which means I'm dating a warlock.
Piper-Been there, done that.

Piper-What the Hell was that?
Phoebe-I think that you just answered your own question.

Piper-No problem for I bare the power of...1

Prue-Oh...Ummm...Can you get up?
Piper-Back off! What do you think I cannot walk now?
Phoebe-Honey, we are just trying to help you.
Piper-Help? You can't even hold a job.
Prue- OK, now wait a minute Piper...
Piper- Save it. Do you always have to be in charge?!

piper- screw you bitch!
prue- do we have any chains?
phoebe-i think I might have something (runs to get something then comes back holding handcuffs)
prue- where did you get those?....never mind

Phoebe-I wish I had dreams like that.
Piper- Mom would have to knock before she came into your dreams.

Phoebe-They give me the jeebies.
Prue- Would that be the Phoebe jeebies?
Phoebe- ah yes, the comedy stylings of prue halliwell
piper- the only halliwell that actually likes earthquakes
prue-I don't like them but i don't go running through the house screaming "run for your lives either
Phoebe-I was not naked...I was wearing slippers!

Prue-I smell Book of Shadows. Did you do something?
Phoebe- I just saved Piper's ass. Where were you?
Piper- Phoebe
Phoebe- Prue is just pissy because she didn't get to play superman.

Piper- Don't worry, I got it. I'm the culinary packidirm

Piper- Somebody just kill me now and spare me the agony of clean up.
Phoebe-Ask and you shall recieve.

Josh- And people pay you to do this?
Piper- Phoebe could you please take Mr. CONGEIALITY out of here.

Phoebe- I was just..uhh..
Piper- Opening up a can of whoop ass!

Phoebe-Just out of curiosity, if you were a water shut off valve, where would you be?

Prue to Brandon-You can sleep in my room, and I'll sleep with Piper.
Prue-Because Phoebe kicks

Phoebe-Great, where is Buffy when you need her?

Prue-It switched all of our powers?!
Phoebe-Supernatural freaky Friday.

Piper-I thought I'd have to pull a Celine Dion and wear my dress backwards.

Piper-What am I supposed to say? That I'm a cach-strap, single, resteraunt manager who still lives in the same house I grew up in with my sisters?
Phoebe-And the cat, you can't forget the cat.

Phoebe-Prue, I am not nuts. OK, maybe a little bit but that is irrealevent here.

Piper to Joanne-Look, I know I don't have the flashy job, or the flashy ring, or the flashy desgner suit, but that doesn't make me any less than you or anybody else. And just because I may not have relized my dreams yet like you think you have it doesn't mean I won't find a way to do exactly that. And I'm damn sure I'll be doing it with my own nose, not one some discount doctor gave me!

Phoebe-What have we got to loose?
Piper- well, apparently we have our clothes to loose
(phoebe starts taking off her clothes)
Piper-uh, what are you doing?
Phoebe-When in rome
Piper- no no no Phoebe we're in california and it's illegal here!